Marriage Is a Safe Haven

The world we live in is becoming such an unfriendly place. We don’t feel safe on our streets anymore, We don’t even feel safe in our homes, because so many homes are broken into or destroyed by fire or other­wise.

We don’t know what to ex­pect from other people. It seems like everyone wants to sue us for any little thing. It is so easy to “offend” someone, simply by inadvertently saying the wrong thing.

Is There a Safe Place?

Sometimes it feels like eve­ryone is “out to get us.” Where can we go? To whom can we turn? Christians say we need to turn to Jesus Christ, He can and will help us through any crisis. And this is true. But, one of the helps He already gave to us is the marriage relationship.

Marriage can and should be a safe haven from the rest of the world. A wonderful, loving and supporting spouse can keep us from being destroyed by the outside world.

When the world around us seems to be crushing in on all sides, our spouse can be the protection that keeps us from being crushed. When our responsibilities are pulling at us from all sides, our spouse can keep us from being torn apart.

Who Creates the Safe Place?

In the past, this concept meant that the wife would support the husband, because he was the one working in the “outside world.” In our modern culture, wives, as well as husbands, are working outside the home. Thus, it is the responsi­bility of both the husband and wife to furnish a “safe haven” for their spouse.

The question is: how can this be done, how can I furnish a safe haven for my spouse? This can become a very frustrating question if I need protection and need to give it at the same time. The answer is very simple, but can be very difficult to imple­ment.

The answer is that, together, you create your own little world in which you feel secure. Of course, this can only be ac­complished when there is open and intimate communication between you and your spouse. Thus, this is first place to start.

Modern Communication

In this modern world, com­munication is one of the most important things we do. We do it through preaching, advertizing and especially over the Internet. Social networking and texting has become the primary method of communicating for many people.

These types of communica­tion are only one way. Except for texting, we do not look for nor do we expect any immediate response. Nei­ther do we really expect an exchange of ideas.

These types of com­munication are not really for the exchange of ideas, but to get our point across. We really don’t care what the people on the other end of our “communication” think or care about. We simply want them to change to our way of thinking. We may get responses, but the only kind we really want are that they accept what we want them to accept.

Communication in a Marriage

Communication within a marriage is communication on a personal basis. It is communication within a relationship. It is responding to, as well as giving out, information and ideas. It is relating to another person.

Communication within a marriage must never be one way communication, and yet it too often is. We just want to get our point across. We don’t want to change, we want our spouse to change.

Communication within a marriage must be “open com­munication.” This is two-way communication. This is receiv­ing new information and ideas as well as giving information and ideas. This is accepting what the other person has to say, even if we disagree with it.

You may not accept the point that your spouse is making but you need to accept the idea that he/she believes it. It is then that you can sit down and discuss the point and come to some type of agreement between the two of you.

This Communication is Between Two Best Friends

It is through our best friend that we learn to share our thoughts and deepest feelings. It is often here that we first learn to “trust” someone with the knowledge of who we really are. Our best friend becomes our confidant with whom we can share things we would not even tell our parents.

This is why marriage partners need to be best friends. If our marriage partner is not our best friend, we need to reach out and make him/her our best friend. This is one of the reasons that God created marriage in the first place.

What About Your Marriage?

Do you feel free to discuss anything and everything with your spouse? Do you feel free to ask for a specific type of support from your spouse? Are you willing to give the support your spouse asks for? Are you willing to change your life style so that your spouse can get the support he/she needs?

Are you willing to create a safe haven for your spouse? Are you willing to put aside your own selfish desires and put your spouse first in your life? If you both do this, you will be surprised at the result. You will actually create the marriage that God wants for you.

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